Can I Really Do This?

The following article comes from the May 2025 newsletter of Amanda Benson, a SEND missionary to the Philippines. Amanda has been a teacher at Faith Academy near Metro Manila. She is now being asked to transition into a leadership role as principal of the middle school. The article is used with permission of the author.

The Doubt Creeps In

A couple of weeks ago, I met with my principal from Faith Academy for a transition meeting. We’ve been meeting regularly for a little while now, but this meeting was specifically to plan for a six-hour leadership team planning meeting that we were going to lead. We ended up talking for over four hours, and as time went by, I started asking myself this question: Can I really do this?

A few days later, we had our planning meeting. The principal and I both led different parts of the meeting. It was so exciting to be talking through ideas and planning for next year. I enjoyed working with the team. And yet, at the end, I continued asking myself: Can I really do this?

The Heart of Leadership

As I’ve had more meetings and have begun to work on stepping into the principal role next year, I keep wondering this. The question isn’t so much about the practical aspects of being principal—it’s more about the leadership aspect of it.

I find myself asking, can I really lead well? Am I capable of being a leader who not only supports and inspires but also knows how to listen well before directing? When conflict arises, will I handle it in a way that honors both Christ and people? I question if I have the strength to cast a strong vision and the consistency to carry it out. My deepest desire is to encourage staff and students to do their best and to seek Jesus, but will my leadership achieve this? Can I lead with humility and equip teachers to be the best mentors and educators they can be?

A Promise of Presence

It seems an overwhelming task. But as I’ve been pondering this, the Lord has made it clear that this is the path that He has chosen for me, and He is with me in it. I cannot do it on my own, but I can do it with Him!

God has reminded me of Joshua 1:1-9, when Joshua is assuming the leadership of Israel from Moses. God tells Joshua three times to “be strong and courageous,” and the last time God adds,

Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

Joshua probably felt a lot like I do now, only his task was so much bigger than mine! But God gave him the encouragement and promises that he needed to do the task that God had called him to. And I know that as I embark on this journey, God will be with me as I go.

The Shepherd’s Heart

First Peter 5:1-11 is another passage that God has brought to my mind repeatedly over the last few months as I’ve been thinking about leading next year. Though Peter is speaking to the elders of the church, I believe this passage has implications for all leaders. Peter urges the elders to lead in the following way.

Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

I Peter 5:2-4

Peter told the leaders how to lead those in their care. The staff and students of the middle school will be my flock next year. As I lead them, I want to shepherd them well. I want to be a willing, humble leader.

Because He Cares

As the passage continues, Peter gives more instructions about how to do this. He says,

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Peter knows that to be a good shepherd, the leader must be humble and follow God. He also knows that leadership can bring many things that cause anxiety, and Peter says to cast all of those on God. Why? Because He cares for me. His concern extends to all the things that will be on my plate. The relationships I care about are also important to Him. And he is deeply invested in my ability to lead well those He has placed in my care.

The Reality of the Battle

The next part of the passage is fairly familiar, but I’ve not often heard it talked about in the context of this passage on leadership. Peter says,

Be soberminded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8

God knows that my enemy is going to be coming after me as I lead. He is looking to devour me and keep me from being a good shepherd to the flock. He is going to try to keep me from being humble and following the Lord. I need to be aware and prepared for attacks, knowing that they will come. I know that there will be times I fail. But in the end, “the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you” (v. 10). Wow.

Moving Forward in Faith

So, as I continue to think through this transition in the next couple of months, I want to continue to remember these words from the Lord. I want to be strong and courageous. I want to remember in the moments when I feel overwhelmed or feel like I cannot do this that he has called me, and he will strengthen me and be with me. It won’t be easy, but God himself will minister to me and work in and through me.