Is stress, even cross-cultural stress, always a bad thing?
Too much stress is not good. More than 4 years ago on this blog, I mentioned a book by Dr. Richard Swenson on the topic of “Margin” – Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives. I had read the book and was recommending it because I recognized that many of our missionaries were subject to overload and consequent burn-out. (See another recommendation on our SEND U wiki.)
What is margin? Swenson writes:
Margin is the space between our load and our limits. It is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed. It is something held in reserve for contingencies or unanticipated situations. Margin is the gap between rest and exhaustion, the space between breathing freely and suffocating. Margin is the opposite of overload. If we are overloaded we have no margin. (pp. 69-70). Kindle Edition.
Swenson argues that we need to make sure that we don’t exhaust our emotional, physical, financial and time resources so that we have no reserve for the expected opportunities and crises that come our way. Since so much of missionary life and ministry is not scheduled, particularly in cultures that are not as structured and time-oriented as the West, we would be wise to build these buffers into our lives. Since living cross-culturally is stressful and often exhausting, we must make sure that we do not set unrealistic expectations of ourselves. In fact, creating these margins is essential for long-term fruitful service.
Jesus encouraged his disciples to take a break from their busy pace of ministry and get some rest.
Mark 6:31 – Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
Those of us who firmly believe in the value of margins are learning to say “no” to ministry opportunities that we feel we cannot add to our already busy schedules. We have emphasized the importance of Sabbaths and vacation time and family times. We make sure that there is “white space” in our weekly calendars. We have even given ourselves permission to occasionally take naps in the middle of the day. For me, that was not altogether unfamiliar since we were introduced to the concept of “siesta time” in the Philippines.
But upon further reflection, I have come to believe that holding these margins too rigidly can actually have negative impact on our growth and development – and in the long run prevent my capacity from expanding. For our own good, it seems to me that we need to plan to push ourselves to use that reserve every once in a while.
Please don’t misunderstand me here. I still believe it is wise and important to make sure we have time for rest, Sabbath, and our families. But we must not avoid all stress at all costs. I am afraid that far too often I say “no” to an opportunity simply because it will stretch me beyond my comfort zone. I need to be stretched if I am to grow.
Just read the following verses from the Apostle Paul:
1 Corinthians 9:24–27 – Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
2 Corinthians 1:8–9 – We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
2 Corinthians 11:23–28 – Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.